A Teaching of Fr. Jean-Dominique, O.P., on the Role of the Father of the Family

As we have seen previously, the role of the Father in the Family is similar to the role that God fulfills towards his creatures :

• A man participates in the work of Creation by the procreation and education of his children.

• A man participates in the government of the world (Providence) by his work and his authority.

• A man participates in the work of Redemption by his spiritual ministry over his home.

Let us start with the first part of the role of the Father, which is to participate in the work of Creation by the procreation and education of his children.

Procreation

It is obvious, but good nevertheless to underline that a man becomes a father when his spouse gives birth to a child.

After the creation of Adam and Eve, God could have continued to create adult human beings. But he willed to associate man and woman to the extension of mankind. This is an immense honour that is given to his creatures. Each time there is the conception of a new human being, God intervenes directly to create a human soul. This is why we call the generation of children by the parents «procreation». Parents are the instruments of the Creator. We can compare this dignity of the Christian view on procreation to the ugliness of vice that has been introduced, especially nowadays, in one of the most beautiful things God has done.

Now, the role of man and woman is different in procreation :

• The woman receives life from the man. She shelters it, nourishes it and develops it.

• Man is the human principle of life. “The father according to the flesh participates in a particular manner to the notion of principle which is found in a universal way in God” says St. Thomas Aquinas.

The Father is the source of life. This is a fearful responsibility, because, as it happens in natural life, if the source is contaminated, then all the rivers will be. The Father imprints out to the future generations coming from him his general orientation and a particular style. St John Chrysostome, in the 4th century, said : “If you raise well your little one, he will also raise well his son, and this one his son. It will be like a chain in succession and this education will spread to all, taking its origin and its roots in you, and thus you will bear abundant fruits thanks to the care that you have with your son.”

St Pius X, at the beginning of the twentieth century, speaking about the destruction of Catholic education in the families, said : “A highly motivated and universal complaint is found in our days on the lips of all kinds of people concerning immorality and corruption, not only of young adults, but also of children in their most tender age which we see unfortunately from the very moment their reason develop : we see these children led to horrible vices, by truly evil tendencies which make all those who have some authority in society tremble. This universal disorder, this precocious malice in the children, to what can we attribute it? The Holy Ghost has said that the children resemble their fathers. Exception made for some rare evil branches which do not correspond to the nature of the tree to which they are united, the evil of the children must be imputed to the negligence, the carelessness, etc., and, God forbid!, to the malice of the parents. That is why if we must expect something good for the society, we must expect it particularly from the family.” (St. Pius X, Oct. 27, 1907)

Therefore, the true leader of the family must have the sense of responsibility. Men must weigh seriously the burden that they take on their shoulders when they get married. The solution is not to fall into an excessive fear and doubt Divine Providence. But it is definitely to considered seriously our duties.

Education

“God created man to His image and He has not granted this favour to other living beings. It is therefore very true that for this privilege, this unique privilege which he has given to mankind, Holy Church calls him the Father of all, as much of the faithful than of the infidel” says the Catechism of the Council of Trent.

What will be the role of the Father in the work of education? Often people think : the husband must provide the food, and the wife must educate the children. There is nothing falser. The wife has an important role to play in the education, but she works as an associate to the husband. «The father is the principle at the same time of generation, of education, of discipline, of everything that concerns the perfection of human life.» (St Thomas Aquinas). The mother, says Fr. Jean-Dominique, adapts to each child the orientation given by the father, but she acts in the name of her husband.

“Is it not because fathers have given up, because they have abandoned to their respective spouses the education of their children, that the children have become unstable, pusillanimous, liberal and naturalistic? Our generation lacks the fortitude, the prestige and the care of the head of the family.” (Fr J.-D.)

Pius XII, when speaking about the role of the parents, gives the example of the head and the heart. Both are necessary. But the head is first.

The Apostle St. Paul gives a good summary of Christian education : “As you know in what manner, entreating and comforting you (as a father doth his children), we testified to everyone of you, that you would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory.” I Thess. 2, 11-12

Three conditions are essential to allow the father to fulfill his role properly : the example, the presence and the bounty.

Example

A child naturally admires his father and takes him as a model. “What influence would a father have, who, having exhorted his son to sacrifice and politeness, will show himself to him as a couch potato? Is the religion of my father true, when I never see him kneeling, when I never see him making thanksgiving after Mass, when I never hear deep conversation coming from him?” (Fr. J.-D.)

Presence

The head of the family must love his household. He must make it his principal center of interest. “It is enough to consider the various aspects of the educational mission of the father to be convinced of it : to play and to sing with his children, to guide them in their schoolwork, to associate them in his work if he is working in the garden or handiwork around the house, to watch their friendships in order to guide them from their tender age against false friends, to use his authority to correct their defects and form their characters, especially for the boys, to inculcate to them the sense of sacrifice and the service of the common good. It is easy to see by these few examples what the mission of the father of the family demands concerning his presence and his care.” (Fr. J.-D.)

Bounty

Since he is the source, the father must also be the most generous. He must be good. “When a good father of a family, with all the strength which the Lord has given him and with his crown which He has put on his brow, exercises his authority, and shows goodness, it is impossible that those who depend on him will not resemble him in all their actions” says Pope St. Pius X.