A teaching of Reverend Father Jean-Dominique, O.P., on the Role of the Father of the Family

Let us now consider the role of the father of the family as a religious leader, this is as a minister of God for the redemption of his family. This role of redemption is not a small one. The Holy Council of Trent says : “It is by the work of Redemption that our infinitely good God, who is at the same time our Father, reaches the limit of all His goodness.”

The family has a supernatural dimension : it is certainly the nest that receives the natural life, but it is also a temple where the supernatural life blossoms. The father of the family is, as much as a layman can be, the priest of this temple. In the Old Testament, the father use to lead his family to the temple. Among the pagans also, the father would offer the sacrifices to the (false) gods on the altar of the house.

In Christianity, the father is not invested with Holy priesthood as such. The sanctuary of souls is closed to him. He is not the spiritual director nor the confessor of his family. But he participates in a very special way in the three powers of Christ : he is a prophet, a king and a priest.

Let us give here two remarks before we start contemplating these three aspects of Christian paternity.

First, let us remember that the family is not a parish and cannot replace the Church. Its role is to prepare and lead its member to the liturgical Offices, especially the Sunday Mass. The family was born at the foot of the altar. From the altar it takes its virtue and its vivacity.

Second, if the father is in a certain way the priest of the family, he must live in harmony and friendship with those who are invested of the ministerial priesthood. Division and unjustified criticism of the parish priest can only lead to a diminution of the supernatural order in the soul of the children.

The father as a prophet

A prophet is one whose role is to speak in the name of someone else, and here, this someone else is God. The father participates in the work of Redemption. He is therefore a “prophet” in the sense that he speaks to his family in the name of God. “Listen, my son, to the instruction of your father, for it is a crown of grace for your head and your ornament for your neck.” (Proverbs 1,8)

Concerning this prophetic role of the father, that is his role to represent God in front of his children, we also read in the book of Tobias (1, 9-10) : “But when he was a man, he took as a wife Anna of this own tribe, and had a son by her, whom he called after his own name. And from his infancy he taught him to fear God, and to abstain from all sin.”

Let us listen finally to Saint John Chrysostome : “When you leave the Church, and you enter into your houses, set up two tables, one for the dishes of the body and the other for the dishes of the Sacred Scripture. Let the husband repeat what has been said. Let the wife be instructed. Let the children listen, let the servant be not frustrated with the readings of the Bible. Each one of you make of your house a church. Are you not entrusted with the salvation of your children and of your servants and will you not have to give an account one day? As we ourselves, shepherds, we will have to give an account of your souls, similarly, the fathers of families will have to give an account before God of all the personnel of their household : wife, children, servant. After feeding your body, therefore, have a great care to serve this spiritual table when you come home where you will reproduce the topic of our talks.” (Commentary on Genesis 6, 2)

Considering this great role of the father, should we not come to the conclusion that he should therefore constantly deepen and raise his own doctrinal formation in order to be able to answer the needs of the members of this family.

The father as a king

“Regere” in Latin means “to lead”, “to direct”. From this word, we have the word “rex”, which is “king”. The father can be said the “king” of his family because he has authority to lead the family members to Heaven. How will he accomplish this very serious task?

The role of the father in leading the members of the family to Heaven is first to establish laws and customs in his house, to create an order in which souls will blossom. In this should be included things so basic as the time of going to bed, the choice of friends, the responsibilities to be entrusted to one and to the others. He will obviously do all this with the help of his wife, but will not leave all that to her care and will make sure to resist the temptation to quit, to get rid of this duty.

The role of the father will be also to protect his wife and children. Because he is a king, he must keep a constant vigilance and sometimes use strength to push away from the souls entrusted to him the assaults of the devil and the world, as Our Lord said in the Gospel : “But know this ye, that if the goodman of the house knew at what hour the thief would come, he would certainly watch and would not suffer his house to be broken open.” (Matt. 24, 23)

The father as a priest

A priest is someone who stands between heaven and earth. We find this very well illustrated with the patriarchs of the Old Testament. The father must be, as a priest, a man of prayer. It is his duty to stand before the face of God in the name of all his own.

He must also have the spirit of sacrifice. The influence the father will have on his family is very often proportionate to his self-denial. Fathers, be united to Jesus-Victim. Do not live an easy and soft life as the modern world encourages you to do, but take upon yourself the spirit of the Cross of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Be faithful to your duty of state.

The father must have a special role in the family worship, by saying the blessing at table, by leading the public prayer, and not abandoning this role to his wife. The father can also bless his children before they go to bed, or before they leave for a trip. He does that most of the time by marking their forehead with the sign of the cross.

“Honour thy father, in work and in word and all patience, that a blessing may come upon thee from him, and his blessing may remain in the latter end.” (Eccl. 3, 9-10)

Conclusion

A good father will easily understand that in order to accomplish the beautiful task of being the spiritual leader of the family, he will need the help of his wife. “It is not good for man to be alone : let us make him a help like unto himself.” (Gen. 2,18)